The End of Hedgehog's Dilemma, Part I: Evolutionary Angel
by gorgeousshutin
Summary: If the hedgehogs in winter fear the sting of contact, they will freeze without ever sharing warmth. Lilins are the hedgehogs, and self-preservation their spines. If people in solitude fear the pain of contact, they will die without ever knowing love. Even at the cost of impacting the entire Lilin Race, this Angel wants for their lonely Messiah to find what he needs.
1. Chapter 1

**The End of Hedgehog's Dilemma, Part I: Evolutionary Angel** (Written for **Gob Hobblin**)

NGE characters belong to their respective owners.

**Note:** Starts near the end of TV Episode 24, before going into EoE territories.

* * *

_'For you, I must.'_

* * *

To say that Ikari Shinji was floored would be a gross understatement.

"What . . . what are you talking about?" he asked, holding the surrendered Angel in Unit 01's . . . in his tenuous grasp.

Said Angel - who approached the boy under the guise of a friend, prior to revealing his true nature –- merely gave the EVA Pilot _that_ smile.

"Kaworu-kun!" Shinji tried again, voice desperate and pleading "I don't understand what you're talking about! Please, at least tell me why . . . "

"It is just as I've said: to be or not to be, it makes no difference to me." Nagisa Kaworu's voice was as tender as his words were merciless. "What Lilins call death is for me an absolute liberty." His gaze, intense with expectancy, drilled at the fragile boy behind the man-made beast. "Now, do what you must, Shinji-kun."

"K-Kaworu-kun . . .!" Shinji stuttered from the now uncontrollable clanking of his teeth; his hand, feeling every delicate muscle of the Angel's slight frame via his EVA's synchronization mechanism, felt like it was about to convulse.

"Erase me while you still can, Shinji-kun," urged the Angel, whose smiling face now rivaled the crucified giant behind him in icy pallor. "Otherwise, I will join with Lilith, and be the one to erase you and all Lilin lives from this Earth. Only one of our bloodlines can escape annihilation, and obtain . . ."

Even as the Angel spoke on, his words fell largely upon deaf ears; Shinji missed much of what was being said, so overwhelmed was he by the tumultuous thoughts currently droning in his head.

". . . thank you. I'm happy to have met you."

Afterwards, after the Angel had long since been crushed (and decapitated) under his Eva's grip, Shinji would have realized that those were the very words that prompted him to go for the (painfully difficult) kill.

"What do you mean . . . thank you?" Alone in the plug, with his head hung low and his fists clenched, the boy spoke on; knowing - without caring - that it was the staff in the Command Center now privy to his ragged, sob-wrecked voice. "What do you mean you're happy to have met me? You . . .why'd you have to say you love me? Why'd you have to make me kill you? I don't understand . . . I don't understand . . . _KAWORU-KUN!_"

* * *

_'It's because . . . of love.'_

* * *

"A survivor only needs the will to survive. He wanted to die. He abandoned the will to live, and depended on whatever false hope he had. You were not wrong to have killed the Angel."

The cold statement - completely devoid of the warmth Shinji had once thought was characteristic of this woman he thought he knew –- confirmed the grating fear that had been eating at the boy, alongside his mad grief.

Katsuragi Misato was, in the end, simply an Angel-hating militant who used him for her own revenge. Ayanami Rei was a human-engineered monstrosity sharing in his mother's features. Asuka Langley Soryu was too far gone within her own personal hell to even sense his existence. What friends he had made at Tokyo-3 High all had evacuated from the city with their families. What NERV personnel he knew were just . . . that.

After the long, painful series of battles against the many Angels, after being drained of usefulness by an organization that treated him like cannon fodder, EVA Pilot Ikari Shinj was left with no one to turn to.

He, who suffered unspeakable pains to save the world from destruction, had no one to help him in his time of need.

Not one single person.

None.

And that, was the moment when the boy's heart was to close completely against everyone; closed, such that other people – be they approving or derisive or genuine or betraying – shall no longer matter to him . . .

. . . such that absolutely no one could ever hurt him again.

* * *

_'If the hedgehogs in winter fear the sting of contact, they will freeze without ever sharing warmth._

_'Lilins are the hedgehogs, and self-preservation their spines._

_'If people in solitude fear the pain of contact, they will die without ever knowing love._

_'I love you, Shinji-kun._

_'That's why, even knowing this will hurt you and your world . . . I **must** let it happen.'_

* * *

Within the colossal space of NERV's Commander's Office, a number of huge holographic monoliths had since materialized around the diminutive -by-comparison office desk, walling in the Commander and his right hand man with their ominous presence.

/"As per our scenario, the last Angel has since met his fate."/

/"Even Adam's salvaged soul is not invulnerable to the trickery of men."/

/"All is proceeding as we've planned."/

As the SEELE members gloated on about their supposed one-upping of the divine entity, little did they realize that said entity was really present in their midst, undetected by their limited human means.

No longer tied down by a physical form, the Angel who lived for fifteen human years under SEELE's rigid monitoring now was free to monitor them back with zero difficulty.

One species' death is another species' absolute liberty.

/"The promised time has come!"/ SEELE Chairman Keel Lorenz's voice boomed from where he hid behind the hologram (though the angelic spirit had no trouble 'seeing' his wizened features already strained with the effort of merely speaking). "With the Lance of Longinus lost, complementation using Lilith is impossible. Our only hope is to proceed with Lilith's only true offspring, EVA-01."

"This differs from SEELE's original scenario," said NERV Commander Ikari Gendo. The Angel noted how the man's heartbeat had sped in spite of his flawlessly impassive expression.

"Humans have reached their pinnacle to create the Evangelion," added Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki Kozo, who stood firmly by the Commander's side.

"Humans must evolve into a new world. That is what the EVA series was created for," Gendo reminded everyone, still maintaining his act of being only true to the plans made long ago.

"We have no intention of giving up our human form to use the EVA as our Ark," stated a SEELE member daring to show his true face behind his holographic mask; some others agreed with him.

"It's merely a part of the process to rebirth those who are imprisoned."

"The fate of destruction is also the joy of rebirth."

"A sacrament of death to unite God, humans and all other life forms."

_'Hypocrites,'_, thought the Angel. That was all these Lilins were. Talking about bringing the greater good for all mankind, when they were all planned on sacrificing mankind for their own personal gains.

Then again, this Angel also had his reasons for submitting himself to the Lilins' monstrous plans –- even going so far as to traumatize the designated Messiah via his 'death act' . . . .

"Death creates nothing," stated Commander Ikari with audible defiance; not surprising, considering how SEELE's current plan was one would sacrifice even the man's beloved wife, fused into EVA Unit 01 since years ago.

That man had been running away from his young son for all these years since.

"Then we will bring you death!" Keel's voice announced before the monoliths all faded off view, leaving the large office almost desolate-seeming in its excessive spaciousness.

"Humans exist because they have the will to live," murmured Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki, seemingly only to himself. "That is the reason she remained within Eva." Beside him, the Commander of NERV remained resolutely tight-lipped about his plans for the immediate future.

Not that the Angel had any trouble guessing just what –- or rather, whom -– the Commander's plan for the immediate future entailed, judging by what the man had _implanted_ into his gloved right hand.

All-seeing, all-hearing, and thus all-knowing, the Angel was certain he could secure _his_ own plan for that same immediate future; all he needed was someone with power enough to act on his behalf.

And he had already got just the right person for this task

* * *

Red eyes opening in fans of pale lashes, Ayanami Rei sat up from her bed, and looked out the window to see the full moon hanging pale against the night sky; pale; much like how a certain gigantic being appeared against the Teminal Dogma's dark backdrop.

She was about to become one with that pale giant as per the Commander's order.

Yet . . . something strange deep inside of her was crying out; something that told her she could never find the affection she sought from the man, no matter how obedient a doll she remained to him.

Something . . . no; _someone_ was urging her to break free from the Commander, at all cost, while she still had a chance to do so. That someone - speaking without words – had somehow managed to open up some channel directly into her mind, into her deepest psyche, persistently signaling for her to do what she had never considered before.

_'You think I should . . . rebel?'_

No voice, real or imagined, answered her question.

_'Are you . . . the Fifth?_

Still, nothing.

_'But what am I, if I can't be his?'_

Heart full of doubt, Rei nonetheless resolved to proceed with what she had originally planned to do at this time –- leave for the HQ, descend to the Terminal Dogma, and await what was to come.

And the pallid girl walked out of the unkempt apartment for one last time, leaving a pair of broken glasses carelessly littered on the dirty floor.

* * *

**To be continued . . .?**


	2. Chapter 2

**The End of Hedgehog's Dilemma, Part I: Evolutionary Angel** (Written for **Gob Hobblin**)

NGE characters belong to their respective owners.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Power, by popular Lilin definition, was the ability to control and affect others at whim.

"I had hoped to solve this peacefully, but that is not possible now." Visible straining with the effort of maintaining his confident, commanding tone of voice, the decrepit leader of SEELE barked out his order to those in control of the JSSDF. "Take over the entire headquarters directly, at once!"

/"Yes, of course . . ."/ The voice on the other side of the line sounded audibly hesitant. /"But, about your proposal to open up the GeoFront in that manner . . . you see, entire squads will have no time to retreat from the affected area . . ."/

"Is that supposed to be a problem?"

/"N-No. Your will shall be done, honored Sir, in Japan as it is Globally."/

"Good."

Thus how the Gates of Hell came to open wide over the expanse of Tokyo-3.

* * *

Inside the infiltrated parking lot, the following conversation could be heard echoing against the bloodstained, bullet-marred walls:

"Damn! They're trying to prevent physical contact between Shinji and EVA-01.  
There's no time to lose . . . Quick, Shinji . . . (pause) Do you want to run away, or go to Eva? - Pick one! (longer pause) If we stay here, we'll _die_ for nothing!

"Help me, Asuka . . . Help me . . ."

". . . You're hiding behind a girl at a time like _this!?_ Running from reality . . . and lying to yourself - all just to make yourself feel better? Doing things half-assed is the worst thing you can do! You, get back on your feet! Stand up!"

"No . . ." Being forcibly dragged up by Misato - who just _murdered_ three people right in front of him –- Shinji kept his head down, stubbornly refusing to look at the woman. "Let me die. I don't want to do anything."

"Stop talking like a spoiled brat!" Appearing more anguished than simply angry, the Major now was shouting right against her charge's ear. "You're still alive, aren't you?! So, do all you can to keep yourself alive . . ." Anything further the woman was saying was effectively blocked out by the weak child, holding on to his misery with much stubborness.

_'. . .exploited a girl in her coma . . . killed the only one I've ever loved. There's no goodness in me, only dishonesty and cowardice. If I can only hurt people, then it's better if I don't do anything at all. I won't anything no more . . . I won't . . . not even for you . . ._

' . . .Kaworu-kun . . . why?'

* * *

_'Everything happens for a reason -– even global cataclysms as engineered by power-hungry fanatics.'_

Standing upon troubled waters, upon the submerged ruins of Tokyo-3, the Angelic ghost -– appearing as the pale youth he was in life - spoke on languidly despite the military aircrafts and tanks currently wrecking havoc in the background.

_'Back then, the Earth had been direly affected by my Seed Form's combustion from the Contact Experiment. As always, those few people in power had made the whole world pay the price for their own selfish ambitions. Yet, with a Seed's leaked life force having altered the planet's atmospheric elements, all Lilins killed in the event, along with those passing after them, were thus preserved against disintegration even in the absence of their individual AT Fields._

_'All Lilin dying since September13 year 2000 could become a part of the Collective Consciousness; in other words, SEELE's mad plans for Human Instrumentality may be the only chance for these fatefully departed to be reunited with their loved ones._

_'All have been gathered here for this chance, today.'_

Unaffected by the rough waves from stray mini-missiles impacting the lake, the insubstantial Angel shoved his hand right through his own chest, from where he smoothly drew out a red orb –- one that was aglow with innumerable moving dots 'swimming' within. Eyeing the orb's contents with something like cherishment in his gaze, he offered it to the maidenly apparition (appearing to be) standing in front of him.

_'In the end, it is you who are their Mother Seed, not I,'_ said the Angel, noting how the long rolls of loosened bandages encircling the maiden's uniform-clad frame were continuously fading in and out of view. _'To help them, or not; the choice is yours . . . Ayanami Rei-san.'_

Ayanami Rei –-the spirit of Ayanami-Rei the Second Incarnation, to be exact - eyed the vibrant light dots moving within the orb with apparent interest . . . and wariness.

_'If I allow this, and let the people in power execute their version of Human Instrumentality . . .'_

_'The Lilins in power will indeed be the ones to kick start the process, yet it will be our version of Human Instrumentality coming to pass.'_

_'But . . .'_

_'You know this will hurt your Ikari-kun,'_ stated the third apparitional being present: a young albino child who would have appeared identical to Rei II, if not for her being younger of looks yet also older of bearing. _'The pilot's acute emotional trauma is needed for the recalling of the Lance with Unit 01 – why else do you think neo-Adam here pulled that stunt at Terminal Dogma?'_ She had her piercing red eyes on the 'older' Rei, who went downcast under the sting of her glare. _'You know, also, that everyone you've ever cared about will be suffering badly during the violent transitional period before the joining.'_

'Ikari-kun . . .'

Rei II voiced the name to herself, like it could grant her more certainty. _'What would Ikari-kun want me to do?'_

Reading the girl, the Angel offered his piece. _'You can think of it this way: what would Ikari-kun **need** you to do?'_ Rei II's red eyes (one of which periodically obscured under the flashing bandages) widened as if in startled realization (even as Rei I's rolled with irk); looking into those eyes, the Angel continued on. _'How long do you think he can go on like this? Running away from people at the slightest provocation, yet also defining himself solely upon their reaction towards him . . . and it's not just him, the Lilins around him –- many of whom you've befriended in your lifetime - are faring no better.'_ Tallish flames flared in the background, their infernal haze coloring up the Angel's pallid features with fiery shades. _'There is an unsolvable dilemma forcing members of the Lilin Race to eternally hurt and reject one another. An evolution is the only thing that can set these people free from their self-imposed sufferings.'_ The flames intensified from where they burned behind him, reducing the Angel's edgy, wiry figure into a stark, almost theatrical-seeming silhouette. _'Without this evolution, all Lilins will continue to die generation after generation, all without having ever truly **lived.**'_

'Then . . . the suffering they will be put through . . . ?'

'In the Lilins' own words of wisdom: no pain, no gain.'

'I understand now.'

Mind made up, Rei II reached for the offered orb. _' Everyone for whom I have piloted the Eva, the world of people who gave me my reason for being . . . I want to do this for them, now. I will bond with them once more, every one good or bad, dead or alive."_ Her voice lowered as to be almost inaudible. _"Yes . . . even him.'_ Cupping this accumulation of all deceased souls in both palms, cherishingly, the girl then pressed it against her own chest in a cradling gesture . . .

. . . before 'exploding' outwards in seemingly innumerable multitudes of herself, with each and every doppelganger now holding one distinct person by hand. Together, these duos all drifted weightlessly upwards like winds-carried dandelion seeds, rapidly covering the aircraft-filled skies under their vast swarm (none of those living could yet see them, of course), before dissipating off in all directions just as quickly.

_'Damned gullible four year old.'_ Rei I clucked her tongue in disgust from where she remained upon the lake's turbulent surface, prior to cutting at the Angel with her glare. _'So **good** at pushing people's buttons . . . must've been quite some upbringing you've had over at SEELE, Brother.'_

Said Angel offered the curt 'little girl' a narrow-eyed smile.

_'I assume you also agree with what I'm doing, or you wouldn't have granted me access to your third incarnation's psyche.'_

'Our objectives are the same, so far. But, if you think you can make me –- all three of me - do all the work, then take over control of my Seed Form yourself afterwards . . .'

'This will not happen,' the Angel assured this first incarnation of the Ayanami Rei Series. _'Lilith is Lilith even with Adam's embryo absorbed within. I shall remain as but one participant out of many during the upcoming Instrumentality.'_ The girl, however, held onto her reservations.

_'A participant who retains an individual will strong enough to rival mine is just bad-'_ Alerted, she glanced up and at the N2 bomb rapidly coming down right at them. _ '. . . Guess it's too late to fuss over the details now-'_

*Splash . . . !*

Everything, physical or psychic, was then obscured under the powerful detonation that immediately vaporized the entire flooded Tokyo-3 area, leaving the GeoFront underneath violently opened up, and NERV HQ vulnerable to the hail of missile strikes immediately following the bombing.

* * *

Under the lake was a red giant asleep. Inside the giant was a child cocooned under mental trauma. The giant was getting bombed by depth charges; the child within was at risk of dying.

". . . I don't want to die . . . I don't want to die . . ."

Unnoticed by the child –- curled up in a tight, trembling ball –- was the presence of a pale spirit who used to be her colleague and rival in life; the maiden was accompanied by two ghostly apparitions that looked like one woman grotesquely 'bisected' into two halves.

One of the halves, the one with lunacy in her one wide-eye, was continuously spewing words from her half-a-mouth:

_'. . . die . . . die for me . . . Die! Die for me . . . die . . .'_

As if hearing the halved-woman's psychic urging, the child continued on with her desperate mantra:

". . . don't want to die . . . I don't want to die . . ."

_'How . . . unlike her,'_ commented Rei II, keenly studying the helpless little girl Asuka Langley Soryu now was reduced into. She then turned towards the seemingly saner half of the woman, who was silently watched the redheaded girl in apparent anguish. _'Are you certain you want to intervene now? Very soon, Unit 02 shall disintegrate under the stronger explosives the JSSDF are about to utilize. With no synchronization, Pilot Soryu's physical death - inevitable due to the upcoming Instrumentality - would be far less painful than in the alternative you proposed.'_

_' My daughter is a fighter,'_ stated the saner half of the woman, her one eye narrowed with conviction. _'She is a brave little girl who grew up fighting her way through all the trials of life. She had been winning all the way, even while hindered by her father's selfishness and my insanity. Her fighting as an EVA Pilot had saved many lives worldwide. She will not go down without having the chance to fight.'_

_'Should Pilot Soryu get up and fight with Unit 02, SEELE will deploy the S2 Engine-equipped Eva Series,'_ Rei II reminded the woman. _'Pilot Soryu has no chance of winning against them. She will suffer the pain of failure, as well as the physical violence sure to-'_ The woman cut her off, firmly.

_'No pain, no gain. This here . . . it's not her real self. My daughter cannot go into Instrumentality thinking herself a frightened coward –- not after all the heroic accomplishments she had been through so much to achieve in life.'_ She then turned towards Rei II with barely concealed anxiousness. _'Ayanami-san, even though you and my daughter had never been the best of friends . . .'_

_'We've fought side by side,'_ stated Rei II, a measure of passion now apparent behind her seemingly wooden front. _'I will help you help your daughter, Zeppelin Soryu-san.'_ With that, she joined hands with the split halves of Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu, pulling them together such that they began to merge . . .

_'Asuka!'_ The rapidly merging Kyoko called out to her daughter, urgently. _'You're still alive! You mustn't die yet! You must live!'_

Gradually sensing the loudening call of her mother's spirit, Asuka slowly began to uncoil from her previous fetal position. Her blue eyes, seemingly seeing past the plug's darkened confines towards some brighter, happier space or time, slowly brightened with growing, undeniable, _joy._

"Is this . . . is this where you've been all along?" The once despairing girl broke into a broad, jubilant beam now illuminating her very features. "MAMA!"

EVA Unit 02 - and most importantly, its Pilot - had awakened at last.

* * *

**To be continued . . .?**


	3. Chapter 3

**The End of Hedgehog's Dilemma, Part I: Evolutionary Angel** (Written for **Gob Hobblin**)

NGE characters belong to their respective owners.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

_'This is not about me; to him, it is never about . . . me . . .'_

"At last, we shall be together again . . . Yui."

Deep within the Egg –- currently shaken to the core by the violence of men - was the man-made structure termed Heaven's Door. Beyond Heaven's Door was the bleeding giant crucified; beyond the giant's vast pool of spilled blood stood a man and a girl; the man was voicing his excitement; the girl was crumbling inside.

_'Soon, I shall be no more; yet . . . he is happy.'_

"It is for this that I've persisted on living till now . . ."

Being void of memories, of the emotions such memories would induce in her, Ayanami Rei the Third could only grasp at straws about what she should or should not feel at this moment.

"Our reunion is enough to justify everything done," murmured Commander Ikari, thinking aloud as if trying to convince himself of what he thought; he was clearly uncaring of her reactions to the words spoken. "And the world where we meet again shall be . . ."

Rei III knew she was about to return to nothingness –- as was her designated purpose –- for the benefit of another; had known, since long ago, of her pre-designated fate. Yet, now that the moment had arrived, she found herself uncertain as to whether she should feel sadness or joy . . . or dread.

" . . . hopes shall be realized by this imperfect doll bearing your image . . ."

_'Doll . . . ?'_ Rei III tensed up at the term without fully understanding why. Something . . . something beyond the scope of her conscious mind was sending her upsetting signals, shaking her conviction right when she needed it the most.

"And when that happens, Yui . . ."

_'What path should I, Ayanami Rei, choose? Can even I have choices? Is this feeling . . . anxiety? What should I do? Tell me, someone . . . anyone . . ._

_' . . . Fifth?'_

* * *

Overseeing the troubles of all from where he remained in tune with the Seed Avatar's (Rei II) spirit – currently spread out in multitudes as she diligently go about reuniting the deceased with the dying – the Angel, too, found himself beseeched by anxiety.

There would only be one moment to strike - to realize his plan. While the Angel had little to fear from the Lilin Rulers, Fate –- the uncontrollable turn of events –- was something that even a celestial being like him had no power over.

Should things go wrong, should the Seed's final incarnation still decide to side with the NERV Commander in the end . . . all the suffering the Lilin Messiah was being put through would be for naught-

*Flap . . . *

Startled by the new presence, the Angel took note of this one specific soul out of those many currently getting 'recalled' by Rei II.

_'I thought this one would still be alive at this time.'_

_'He was,'_ replied Rei II, _'I had to dissolve his AT Field to bring him here with me.'_

'His current keepers must've been quite startled when it happened,'

commented the Angel. Rei II appeared un-contrite.

_'They were,'_ Rei II replied in her matter-of-fact manner. _'They and everyone shall be startled by much more as this day progresses.'_ Holding onto the recalled soul, the Lilith Avatar turned to another spirit since hovering near her. _'We are going to her now.' _

Giving an affirmative sign –- the Angel saw it as a nod of the head - the other spirit too joined with her, as the trio then headed off towards one of those numerous death scenes currently taking place within NERV HQ.

The Angel, for his part, focused the majority of his attention on the Terminal Dogma –- on the potentially game-changing drama about to unfold . . .

* * *

"No one is perfect.

"People make mistakes, and then live on regretting those mistakes . . .

"That's all I've ever known: empty happiness, and self-loathing.

"But still . . . still I feel like I did manage to grow from these experiences!

"Listen, Shinji-kun: pilot EVA once more and find yourself.

"Pilot Eva to face these questions:

" 'Why did you come here?'

" 'Why are you here?'

"Find your own answers.

"And then . . . after finding yourself . . . come back to me."

* * *

There, she had done it.

Shinji-kun had at last gotten sent off towards Unit 01's cage, towards the one battle that would give him –- and the world –- a chance for survival.

Mortally wounded as she lay dying on the ground, Katsuragi Mistao knew that she, herself, had since lost that chance.

"If I knew it would end this way . . . I would've done like Asuka said . . . and changed the carpet . . ." Through her rapidly blurring vision, the woman saw something resembling flapper-ed feet and a white tummy stopping right in front of her. Right . . . people 'see things' before they die, or so she had heard.

"Right . . . Pen-pen?" she addressed her (strangely soulful-eyed) pet penguin, uncaring that this could only be an illusion, a mere side effect of oxygen depletion in her brain. Thus, when she then noticed Kaji and Rei standing hand-in-hand behind Pen-Pen, the woman also considered them to be mere figments, and little more.

"Hey, Kaji . . ." gasped the dying woman (who knew she was speaking only to herself), craving approval . . . and a sense of closure. "Did I . . . do all right?

To that, this Kaji she saw offered her not one of his trademark rakish grins, but rather, this rather solemn expression, one semi-obscured by the unruly fringe falling over his eyes.

_'Katsuragi, I-'_

A split second of something - a flash of white light, a blast of deafening sound –- cut Kaji's (strangely insubstantial) sentence, along with the entire scenery, right off . . .

. . . and before Misato knew it, she now found herself seated at a large movie theatre of sorts, where the lights were low and the seats sparsely filled. Odd how she felt like she had been there all along, seated in leisure and comfort, instead of having been running and shooting and getting shot and dying-

_'. . . squawk!'_

Glancing to her right, she saw Kaji now seated beside her, with Pen-Pen on his lap feasting on a large cup of popcorns.

_' . . . have found the truth,'_, murmured the man, whose hardened gaze remained upon the movie screen upfront. _'Or rather, that it had found me instead.'_

_'Kaji . . . what're you talking about?'_ asked Misato, increasingly alarmed by how disoriented she herself currently felt. _'Where are we? Aren't you . . . already . . .'_ Voice wavering from dread, she nonetheless forced herself to complete the sentence. _'. . . dead?'_

_'That . . . won't matter for very much longer,'_ said Kaji, still not quite facing her. _'You can feel it too, can't you? How the line between dying and living is blurring as we speak. We are now one with the Seed, and the Seed one with us. Very soon, those still alive will be crossing over to our side, before all of us are to become one.'_

_'Kaji . . . !'_ Alarmed, Misato stood up with such abruptness, that she unintentionally knocked Pen-Pen's cup of popcorns over, much to the creature's distress. _'What're you saying? Instrumentality hasn't begun yet . . .' _ Her words trailed off as she caught the gigantic red logo glowing upon the side wall of the (improbably colossal) theatre.

The logo read ROOM OF GUF.

_' . . . or has it?'_

'. . . don't need a mother who would choose a man over her own daughter!'

Whirling around at the voice - familiar to her ear even in its current rage-distorted state – she saw none other than Ritsuko curled up at the seat behind hers in apparent pain and anguish. The sight of the one currently beside Ritsuko, however, stunned the NERV Misato into a moment of stupor.

_'Ritchan, it isn't like that,'_ said the late Dr. Akagi Naoko –- who should have died years ago –- in a quiet voice taut with tension. _'I made the decision I did so you may survive what is to come.'_

_'What is to come . . . what the hell could possibly come of this, but the annihilation of humanity, now that you've allowed Ikari to initiate the Third Impact with Lilith?!'_ Unafraid, and clearly angry, Akagi Ritsuko lifted her head to snarl right in her dead mother's face. _'He never loved you, you stupid hag! Just like he'd never loved me! Even if you gave him the world, the only one that man would ever care for is . . . that . . .'_ And she stopped upon noticing just who had now spontaneously appearing beside them.

_'Dr. Akagi Naoko-san was not acting out of partiality towards Commander Ikari when she made Casper reject your program command,'_ said the pale figure, glancing down upon the blonde from where he stood with his hands in his pockets. _ 'Rather, she is acting in unison with me and Ayanami Rei, to ensure that it is our plan –- and not those of the Lilin power players –- that shall come to pass.'_

_'You . . .'_ started Ritsuko, before getting cut off by Misato's outraged exclamation.

_'Nagisa Kaworu?!'_ The NERV Major fumbled for her gun, but could not find it with her. _'This . . . this is all your doing?'_

The Angel kept his red eyes on the wary Chief Scientist (whose mother let exhaled softly as if in stealth relief). _'I cannot have you blow up Terminal Dogma and destroy Lilith, not when Instrumentality is the only thing that can repair the Lilins' flawed existence.'_

_'What do you care about our existence?'_ snapped Misato at the Angel –- that which she held accountable for the loss of her father. _'You're not even human!'_

_'I fell in love,'_ replied the Angel, finally meeting Misato's accusing glare with his calm, even gaze. '_And I've decided to save the one I love from his accursed existence.'_ He then pointed up ahead, thus drawing her attention towards just what had been playing on the large movie screen.

_'Shinji-kun!'_ She gasped at seeing a footage of Unit 01's cage, where its young pilot was seen crouched down in front of the bakelite-enveloped EVA, hopeless as he was helpless. 'So, they've even sabotaged Unit 01.' Grim-eyed, the NERV Major rapidly accessed the situation. _'No good, Unit 02's battery can't hold out much longer . . . '_

_'The movie is such a powerful Lilin invention,'_ commented the Angel, _'it engages the audience while conveying specific messages to them at the same time. Do you like movies, Katsuragi-san?'_ His words had the effect of further enraging the frantic woman.

_'You . . .!'_ Her anger did not deter the entity from speaking on.

_'Do you know? Even without a pilot, the soul in possession of a EVA still could have activated it at will. Unit 01 could have easily broken out of the bakelite, and take Shinji unto itself, such that he could go aid Unit 02 in battle against the Mass Production Evangelion Series.'_ Even as the Angel spoke, the camera gradually panned out to reveal a ghostly apparition semi-lucent from within Unit 01. Feminine of appearance -an appearance of great familiarity to Misato and others - she had her sad eyes glancing down upon the despairing Shinji, who seemed unaware of her presence. _'The reason Unit 01 is not moving now, in spite of the dire situation, is because I've since communicated with the spirit in possession of it, and given her the reason not to help Shinji-kun just yet.'_ His face darkened even as Misato's paled. _'Not until Pilot Soryu and Unit 02 are both to perish at the hands of the MP Series, anyway. Only then shall Unit 01 bring Shinji-kun out, so he can witness the carnage and-'_ He was then cut off by Misato leaping over to his roll and strangling him.

_'Katsuragi-'_ cried Ritsuko in warning, before stopping at Naoko grabbing her hand . . .or rather, merging hands with her, thus revealing that both women now were fluid of form here in this place. Slowly, a look of understanding came to dawn upon the blonde's face, as she now regarded her sad-eyed mother with far less animosity than before . . .

_'You FREAK!'_ Missing the telling detail in the Akagis' exchange, Misato focused herself with trying to break the boyish Angel's slim, vulnerable-seeming neck. _'Damn you! Damn all of you frigging **hell spawns** for showing up in our world! Why'd you even have to exist?! Everything was fine before you all appeared, before Father . . .'_ Stopping herself from revealing such personal thoughts in front of everyone, the emotionally scarred woman forcibly turned the conversation back on its former tangent. _'You, just because you freaks think you're stronger than us, you think you can just . . . just . . .'_ Against her will, her seething rage gradually came to cool under the Angel's steady, somber gaze. _'Why . . . why aren't you stopping me?'_ A laugh, bitter and hollow, escaped her throat. _'Of course, I can't possibly hurt a thing like you, can I?'_

_'You have no force I need to fear,'_ replied the Angel, 'but those words hurt me nonetheless.' The frank honesty in his words and expression worked as magic to loosen Misato's grip around his neck. _'Katsuragi-san, it's fine if you want to hurt me: I've prepared myself to be hurt the moment I've decided to make contact with you. When two individual wills make contact, they will crash as per their conflicting wishes; pain is an inevitable side-product of interaction.'_ Clasping onto the woman's tembling fingers, he gently pried them completely off his person, revealing the red marks upon his pale skin. _'This is what differentiate between the Lilins and the Angels. Angels understand that pain – sensory or emotional – is but a sign of warning; they will not let it deter them from doing what is necessary.'_ His ethereally pretty face came to harden with steely determination. _'That is why I must have Shinji-kun go through this pain.'_

The cryptic statement only served to further confuse and agitate Misato. _'What the hell are you talking about-'_

/"Shinji!"/ Ibuki Maya's desperate voice, coming through the COM LINK, could be heard blasting through the EVA Cage's harrowing space. /"Unit 02! Asuka! Asuka... she's...!"/

_' . . . no . . . '_ Fully understanding that the inevitable had already happened to Unit 02 and Asuka out on the battlefield, the NERV Major collapsing to her knees in cold, hope-lacking despair. _'Not her too . . .'_

"But I can't pilot EVA . . ." whimpered Shinji on screen, still curled up in a small, pitiful-looking ball on the cage's bridge. The camera zoomed in to show the tremors shaking up his frail form –- a telling sign of the self-loathing currently wrecking his psyche. "There's nothing I can do . . . !"

_'Shinji . . .!'_ exclaimed Misato, currently overwhelmed by the same sense of helplessness she knew her charge currently felt.

_'Do you feel what Shinji-kun feels, now that you see him suffer on screen?'_

The Angel's seemingly cruel question impacted the woman like an abrupt slap. She would have attacked the entity anew, had she not then begin to understand just what the enigmatic entity had been doing all along.

_'You . . . are you trying to . . .?'_

_'Emotional resonance is the best way to connect individual minds,'_ stated the Angel, _'and a movie has the power to reach and affect vast multitudes of individuals at the same time. There is hardly any metaphoric symbol better suited to displaying Shinji-kun to the Lilin souls - all of whom are to be gathered here in this Room as per Instrumentality' mechanism.'_

_'You're doing all of this just to 'display' Shinji-kun to all mankind?'_ asked Misato, incredulous. _'Why?'_

_'Because Humanity needs to learn from its Messiah, before it can evolve with him.'_

_'Messiah? Evolve? What do you-'_

Startled by the presence of someone from behind her, Misato turned around, only to have _Kaji's_ lips claiming hers . . . before their faces were to merge together with malleable ease. _'Urmmm. . .!'_

_'Words take too long, and will only get in the way,'_ said Kaji, his voice coming through a mouth that used to belong solely to Misato. _ 'It's easier for me to just share my knowledge with you by joining together as one, like this.'_

_'Kaji . . .'_ murmured Misato, succumbing into the man's fluid embrace while watched by Pen-Pen's beady, inquisitive eyes. Onscreen, EVA 01 could be seen breaking free from the bakelite then clutching at a startled Shinji.

The Angel was no longer present in the theatre.

* * *

_'There is no time . . .'_

Eyes on the embryo of Adam – now fused into the Commander's ungloved right hand – Rei III could feel indefinite things within her giving way; her increasingly fragile vessel had began to melt, resulting in the falling off of an arm.

"There is no time," stated the Commander, eager for what was to come. "Your AT Field can no longer hold your shape. Let's begin, Rei. Release your AT Field, the barrier of your soul. Complement your imperfect heart . . ." Urging on, he then pushed his embryo-bearing hand right through the fluid matter that used to be Rei III's chest.

_'There, you got him.'_

Jolting from the psychic message abruptly touching upon her mind (the Commander would likely think she was convulsing from his intrusion), Rei III saw, in her mind's eye, none other than the Fifth Child; he was 'holding hands' with two spirits of great familiarity to her.

_'Fifth, are they . . . ?'_

_'Hold, Sister.'_ The Fifth Child –- currently in spirit form - then pushed Rei I and II up and towards the bewildered clone. _'Before you're to do anything further, heed thy 'selves'.'_

Thus was 'imperfect' Ayanami Rei at last complemented back up to her full set of memories, her full self; she now had regained her capacity for conscious choice.

Just in time for the Seed Avatar to make her biggest decision yet.

* * *

**To be continued . . .?**

**Note:** Yes, the Room of Guf Theatre is totally inspired by the real theatre shown during Instrumentality in the EoE Movie.


	4. Chapter 4

**The End of Hedgehog's Dilemma, Part I: Evolutionary Angel** (Written for **Gob Hobblin**)

NGE characters belong to their respective owners.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

One moment, she had this traumatic, sensory-appended vision of her right arm getting split in half.

The next, she was jolting up from where she laid thrashing upon an illuminated spot on the ground, screaming bloody murder:

_'**-KILL YOU! I'll** . . . I'll . . . wha?'_

Scrambling back up on her feet, Soryu Asuka Langley looked frantically around, but could see little beyond this focused circle of light she now found herself basking under. Blinking, she covered her right eye, and found the left one –- which should have been debilitated by pain - to be working just fine. Glancing down, she found her arm to be whole and undamaged. Not only that, but she was in casual wear instead of the red plug suit, with her sandal-ed feet now tapping against what looked like a smooth, black floor.

For some reason, the EVA Pilot now was standing under a spotlight, upon some dark place (a stage?), instead of being in the entry plug, battling against the monstrous MP Series together with -

_'Mama!'_ Hurriedly recollecting her wits about, the girl stumbled forward in search of her mother - fighting by her side against those monsters only but moments ago. _'Mama, where are you? Mama?'_ As she moved, the spotlight followed her, keeping her alit yet also obscuring from her whatever it was beyond the light's boundaries. _ 'Ma-' _

/"Mama . . ."/

_' . . . huh?'_

At that familiar voice, a 'scene' –- for there was no better way to describe what she saw - came into view some distance in front of her. It was the interior of an EVA entry plug, where Ikari Shinji's frail figure could be seen seated upon the pilot's seat. With his head down, the boy appeared seemingly subdued at first glance; a closer look, however, revealed his fingers to be trembling from where his hands clutched at the controls.

/"This won't work,"/ whimpered the Third Child. /"I don't know what you're trying to make me do, but I can't do it. Even though you've put me in here, I still can't pilot EVA."/ His voice, once meek to the point of cowardice, gradually turned fierce with budding rage. /"Piloting this **monster** had made me lost the only one who was ever nice to me! I can't keep on piloting this thing; not even if you're in it, not even if it's the only way to save the world . . . "/ Listening to him whine, Asuka could feel her own rage boiling over.

_'You . . . idiot!'_ Was _this_ why she had to fight the MP Series with no backup until the battery inevitably ran out? Because this sorry excuse of an EVA pilot was too busy _drowning in feels_? To think this was why Unit 02 got defeated and destroyed, again separating her from Mama . . . .

. . .but wait; who was this you? More importantly . . . who was this 'only one who was ever nice to him'?

And just what was this place? What was this surreal-seeming close-up 'scene' (apparition? holographic video?) of Shinji in the plug?

Just what was going on here?

/" . . . you don't understand; you're just not me . . . ."/ Then came a pause in Shinji's monologue of gloom, during which the boy appeared as though he was hearing things (in his head? from some ghost?). /"Yes, I once saved her, and she was nice to me for a while. But Asuka has been pushing me away ever since her synch rate started dropping. Even if I show up trying to help her now, she won't be happy . . ."/

_'Of all the **excuses** . . .'_ Livid now, the girl stomped up and towards the 'scene', towards this vision of Shinji existing impossibly in the off-ness of this improbable place. 'Shinji, you MORON!' Frustratingly, even though the boy appeared to be right in front of her, he also remained stubbornly out of her reach no matter how much she pushed forward. _'Why?! Why'd you have to give up so easily? Why'd you . . . ?'_ Choked up, she had to stop and blink hard, to try and force back those seeping, damnable tears.

Why did it have to turn out like this? She had wanted so much to make a comeback by winning against the MP series, so she may again reclaim the status as NERV's top EVA pilot; she would again be superior to Shinji then, same as before. With that, she could . . . she could . . . .

_'. . . find the strength to face him again, so you may again be with him.'_

Jolting at having her innermost thoughts accurately vocalized by the unfamiliar voice, Asuka whirled around to find a pale young man standing at a distance away, watching her.

_'Not as his equal, of course,'_ continued this rather precocious-seeming youth around her age, his voice as gentle as his words were shrewd. _'You want to be superior to him, to keep him dominated, so the interaction will be completely on your own terms: so you yourself can stay safe throughout the contact.'_

_' . . . who the hell are you?'_ asked the girl, hiding her growing wariness behind a tough front as she faced off against the unnervingly omniscient stranger.

Said stranger, for his part, met her guarded glare with a narrow-eyed not-quite smile. _'I'm Kaworu, Nagisa Kaworu. Like you, I too am a friend of Ikari Shinji-kun.'_

* * *

_' . . . do you understand now?'_

Intimately entangled from where they were cloaked under thick shadows, the two pulled slightly back from each other's faces, such that they now were nose to nose, eye to eye.

_'I had no choice but to do it then, Misato,'_ muttered the man in sad regret, _'even knowing how it would hurt you . . .'_

_'I understand . . . .'_ replied Misato, in a forcedly even voice cracking at the edges, _'. . . that you're still that same selfish coward you've always been, **Father.**' _

Fine-featured face dimming further under the theatre's shades, Dr. Katsuragi recoiled slightly from where he had his upper torso protruding grotesquely out from Kaji's lower abdomen; Kagi, who now had his waist arched so far backwards to balance their weights, Pen-Pen now could reach up with his flippers to swap playfully at the back of his dangling ponytail. Impossibly, not only did the two men had their flesh merged together, even their clothes were merged from where the two conjoin in a seamless manner . . .

_'Misato-'_ he started, but was immediately cut off by his daughter.

_'Why?'_ asked Misato, the hurt in her tear-rimmed eyes as harrowing as it was childlike. _'I've gone through years trying to convince myself that I'm not using the men in my life to substitute your presence, that I've erased your shadow from my wants, from the ones I'm with. Now that I'm finally found someone I can be in with love with for real, why'd you have to show up again and **RUIN EVERYTHING?!**'_ Visibly crumbled by her words, Dr. Katsuragi hung his head, before raising it again to again reveal Kaji's face; the 'other/real' him was no longer present behind him, leaving a bewildered Pen-Pen gawking at empty air.

_'Squawk?'_

_'Katsuragi.'_ Kaji's gaze upon Misato was gentle with empathy. _'The Dr. had his soul directly scattered by the original Adam's Wings of Light during Second Impact. He has no means of manifesting except for when he attaches himself to another individual consciousness-'_ He was then cut off by her slapping him across the face.

_'And so you volunteered to be his **parasite host**? How noble!'_

_'He is . . . your father,'_

_'And just what does THAT has to do with you-' _

A cough, pointed and crisp, brought their attention towards Ritsuko. The blonde scientist now had come up to beside them, taking in their spat with crossed arms.

_'If I may interrupt this little lover's quarrel?'_ She gestured up ahead and at the large screen. _'Far more important things are happening to our world right now.'_

On screen, EVA Unit 01 could be seen bursting through NERV HQ's pyramid structure, resulting in a cross-shaped explosion cutting through the debris-clouded heights. More attention-worthy than the dramatic visuals were those multiple lines of scrolling text framing the screen –- words that bluntly exposed some highly confidential information regarding the Human Instrumentality Project, the Second Impact, and most importantly, SEELE . . .

Already, sounds of outrage could be heard spreading all across the colossal theatre, which appeared increasingly crowded by the moment:

_'What the hell?! Second Impact is actually caused by people?'_

_'I lost my entire family because of some fanatical cult organization lurking behind the UN?!'_

_'Oh my gawd even the Prime Minister is a frigging lackey of this SEELE!'_

_'The Colonel had planned on making us cannon fodder from the start!'_

_'This SEELE was planned on killing us all from the start!'_

_'We've actually been deployed against NERV on orders to kill everyone on sight –- including the Children –- all to help SEELE bring about the Third Impact?!'_

_'Look, here are more info on all the top members of SEELE!'_

_'Damn . . . even the US President is in on this too?'_

_'Whoa, they got everything on these fuckers, from their alias, their addresses, even their bank account passwords . . .'_

_'Goddamned **bastards . . .!**'_

_'Oh boy . . . .'_ Distracted into temporarily letting go of her own anger, Misato looked around the rapidly filling rows, and saw how most of the angry audiences were in either NERV or JSSDF uniforms. _'Am I glad I'm not that connected to SEELE to begin with.'_ Beside her, Kaji's lips curled in his roguish smirk.  
_  
'There is no stopping the Truth from coming out now,'_ mused the murdered triple agent. _'The old men will be in for a nasty surprise once they're to cross over to our side.'_

_'Turning the Room of Guf into this metaphorical theatre accomplishes two things at once,'_ said Naoko, who had by now came up to beside her daughter. _'First, it exposes the truth of SEELE to all souls gathered. Secondly, this also gives the 'audience members' something to focus upon. The second is of utmost importance to us here, as mental focus is crucial to our retaining individuality against Instrumentality's blurring mechanism.'_ In the background, Pen-Pen could be seen having already popped himself down on a seat and intently watching the played 'movie'.

_'He planned it so that we'd all be safe from the nothingness of this Impact he's putting us through.'_ Appearing thoughtful, Misato stepped over to her high-intelligence pet, gently ruffling up his bushy red brows. _'Nagisa Kaworu . . . could he really be . . .?'_

* * *

_'A . . . friend? _

_'What're you talking about?'_ Eyes on this Nagisa person –- whose sinister presence unnerved her more by the passing second - Asuka let out a pointed snort from between her clenched teeth. _ 'I **know** the idiot had only got two friends, and neither of them are you.' _

_'It's natural that you don't know about me,'_ spoke the beautiful yet off-putting young man, in a manner that Asuka would have deemed 'catty' had this been a girl. _'Ours is a friendship that blossomed while you were in slumber.'_

_'What slum-'_ The girl then choked upon getting just what he was referring to. _'You . . . how'd you know about . . .'_

Nagisa's gaze upon her was piercing as a raised sword. _'Like you and Shinji, I too was one of the selected Children. I came in at Fifth.'_

The words washed over Asuka like a bucket of ice. _'**You** are the pilot they brought in to try and replace me?!'_ Goose bumps raising on the back of her neck, she shifted warily into a defensive stance – one that she knew would do little against what she was facing off against. _'Then, weren't you really the . . .'_

_'The Seventeenth Angel,'_ admitted this pale 'boy' with glinting red eyes, _'namely Tabris.'_

* * *

**To be continued . . .?**

**Note:** I had thought that I would wrap up Part I with this chapter, but it isn't meant to be. Guess there will be at least another chapter or two before I can unveil **The End of Hedgehog's Dilemma, Part II: Hedgehog Messiah**.

Oh, and about the Dr. Katsuragi/Kaji soul fusion thing? That was totally inspired by the Kaworu-Lilith scene in **EoE**. Hope you guys like!

**P.S.** The time it takes for me to update is inversely proportional to the number of feedbacks I get ;-)


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